Yesterday I learned a valuable life lesson and it got me thinking about other life lessons that I will carry with me till the day I die. Hope you can learn from my mistakes.
1. You can still spill the beans about surprise Christmas presents – 4 or 24 – it still happens
2. If you sneeze while eating a banana, it will shoot out of your nose – Have tissues ready
3. If you trip playing Duck-Duck-Grey-Duck (the correct name of the game) with children at work, scrape up your hands and bruise your knee, your boss won’t let you claim it on worker’s comp
4. It works best to drive a hayride full of kids through the woods at night with working headlights…otherwise it’s pretty dark
5. It is possible to fall while in/on a perfectly stable boat
6. Rabbits have two uterus’ – they can be pregnant in both and give birth to two litters days apart. They can also mate at three months of age…
7. Using your head to stop a revolving door really does work – my most memorable Metrodome moment
8. Always check your tow rope before pulling tubers behind a speed boat – make sure it hasn’t frayed or else it can and will come free from the boat when you make a sharp turn. Slack then tension on a frayed rope…not good.
9. Getting hit in the face with a perch is not pleasant
10. When going to the ER, regardless of your pain level, make sure your fly is zipped
11. If you fall in a lake’s bay (the filtration system to the entire lake), the silt will suck you in and you will lose your socks and shoes (I witnessed this event – it did not happen to me)
12. The police speedometer placed on the road to calculate speeds has an alarm that goes off if it is touched…
13. Underwear freezes to the freezer door if you wet it first…
14. Barbie hair melts when a curling iron is used on it
15. Always keep your head up when exiting public restrooms, never stop to examine the stain on your shirt, or someone will likely open the door and beam you in the head
16. Shut the bathroom door at all times – dogs love bathroom garbage’s
17. If you room with someone from a foreign country – one with poor sewage/plumbing, make sure they realize they are in America – FLUSH!
18. Sheep can get their heads stuck in a fence – make sure the person you call for help actually knows what they are doing
19. There is such a thing as a dumb question. One’s I’ve overheard…”Can I borrow a paper towel?” “Are the colors we’re going to be viewing today on the visible spectrum?”
20. Always make sure you exit a mall store at the designated store exit…man those glass windows are clean
21. The children you’re babysitting and just put to bed will ask what “that” noise was when you fall down their flight of stairs outside their rooms
22. If you think you lost a contact, chances are you did
23. Before backing up a golf cart – make sure it is in reverse
24. While road-tripping, make sure the motel gives you keys to a room that is NOT occupied
25. Children get scared when they open a hotel room door (because they miscounted and thought it was their family’s room) and find a couple in bed together – in the daytime…
26. Playing hide-and-go-seek in Minnesota woods, lying in the grass for two hours without sufficient levels of DEET sprayed on your back, will hurt the next morning and the next and the next…
27. Make sure you set your alarm for AM and pack the night before you depart because when your ride wakes you up…there is NO time to pack…hope your plane doesn’t board early
28. Always make sure the little old ladies working in the Sarasota swimsuit stores REMEMBER they told you to change in the curtain-for-a-door dressing rooms or they will accidentally pay you a visit before you’re ready to model
29. 4-wheel drive can save your life…
30. It is possible to take notes, sleep, and keep from being docked “participation” points in most college courses
Lastly, always remember to laugh AT yourself!