This post is about Christmas. A specific Christmas. Christmas 2007. It was the first. An interesting one. A sad one. It will be three years this Christmas 2010. And I know we haven’t even finished M.E.A., celebrated Halloween, or feasted on Thanksgiving meals, but this post needed to go out. Because the malls are decorated. The “wish lists” are starting. The magazines are flooded with idyllic Christmas images. And I’m listening to Christmas music (thanks in part to ILI’s post on Christmas music)! I wrote this that year. 2007. And I’ve only shared it once. In my marriage and family studies class senior year of college. And so, now, as Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, 98 Degrees, Hanson, and ‘N Sync float in the air around me, I’m sending you a little Christmas spirit and remembering her.
My Favorite Time of the Year
My favorite time of the year is just around the corner. Every department store and advertisement is shouting its upcoming arrival. For a moment, I get lost in the glitz and the glam. Then it all crashes around me like an avalanche. Just as fast and high as my spirits rose, they fall.
My favorite time of the year is not my favorite. Not this year. This Christmas is full of sorrow and pain, because along with it is a deep void that cannot and will not be filled. Ironically, when there was no void and I looked forward to the holidays with excitement, the now void was overlooked and overshadowed, deeply underappreciated.
The absence of one person will have a monumental impact on this Christmas. It is in this time that I realize what Christmases past truly meant to me. They weren’t just about presents, “Home Alone” movie marathons, cookie trays, and freezing cold temperatures. No, they were so much more. What they symbolized were joy, peace, and love. Joy in the Christ child’s birth. Peace that we were united for a moment in time and love which flowed around us and wrapped us in a blanket of security.
The little things hurt right now. The thought of Christmas decorations, carols, Hallmark movie specials, baking, and shopping are suffocating and gut wrenching. How can I celebrate in the midst of sorrow and loss? Is it possible to ever reclaim Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year? The answer is one she would exclaim. Yes! There is still joy, peace, and love. The thing is that now it won’t be taken for granted. As long as I keep that in mind and cherish the moments that I am given, Christmas will remain my favorite time of the year.
I ask. You answer.
- Who do you miss this time of year?
- Do you have a Christmas that was particularly hard?
- How do you find joy in sorrow?
- What is your favorite Christmas album?
- When do you start Christmas shopping?