Something shout worthy occurred in my life late last week. So shout worthy that I began by whispering. Because it was too shockingly shout worthy. Shocking in a good long-time-coming-dreams-come-true way.
I started small. Texts were texted. Calls were speed dialed. Excited chatter on the air waves. I e-mailed some e-mails. To share my news. News that life has taken a turn and things are looking sunny-side-up. I notified many friends and family of my news. And I also didn’t notify as many as I should have – partly because I’m not one to go about shouting out my own news.
But there were some people I wanted to call and e-mail. A select few who I knew would be warmly receptive and congratulatory of my news. Their names and kind faces, laughing smiles and heart-warming eyes, flashed across my mind. I longed to tell them of my newest life path. They would want to know that my wishes came true – that their wish for me came true. They should have been called first.
I forgot to call them. I forgot to include them in the e-mail list.
There was no way I could have called them or included them in the e-mail list. Because they are no longer here and now. They were part of me for many years. Good years. Long years. Short years. Past years. Their footprint on my heart was big. And they would be proud to know that I try to follow in those footprints quite regularly. I miss their words of encouragement and heart-felt prayers. I miss them because they are no longer here to hear me shout out my news.
And you don’t realize how much you miss someone until you can’t share your shout worthy news with them.
* The select few – both sets of grandparents (one grandparent too confused with life to call with my news) and a former professor/adviser/mentor who put up a good fight with cancer that ended this past spring. All were wonderful people in my life and all are greatly missed.
I ask. You answer.
- Have you ever wanted to shout your news out to someone that was no longer there to hear it?
- Is that when you miss them the most?