Throughout my life, I have sought to discover who I am.
I know the basics. The facts that I mark on applications and email subscriptions. But there are things that my Banana Republic email form did not request. Things that I didn’t know about myself. Until I discovered them – accidentally or on purpose.
Sometimes people told me things about who I am – or who they thought I was. I learned to take their declarations with a grain of salt. To toss their comments out the window or to listen and learn from their observations – good or bad.
Sometimes I stumbled on my own two feet and fell flat on my face – staring at my true self – good and bad.
Sometimes I was guided through tests (Myers-Briggs, Strengths Finder, animal personalities, career assessments, etc.) in order to earn high school and college credits or to better prep for an interview.
Sometimes I found myself agreeing with someone else – famous or not – and after a few too many nods and “mmmmmhmmmm’s” I would finally admit that I held certain beliefs about serious and silly things in life that I never knew until that point in time.
In all those times, I was surprised and relieved by what man-made tests revealed about me. I’d say things like, “Oh, that’s why I do that.” Or “Oh, good. I’m not crazy.”
After every test, every discovery, I’d think that I was done. That there was nothing left to discover. That I was always going to be that way or that I would never be that way.
Well, I discovered that I was wrong. There’s always something new to learn. I always have something hidden that needs to be uncovered; something just below the surface that needs the safe-to-come-out signal. I always have more of me to give. I never have it all figured out. No single test can completely reveal all of me.
So, today I have finally arrived. I am never going to quit seeking who I am and who I want to be.
“Never stop exploring” – The North Face
Looks like I need another jacket. Because I’m going on an exploration. It may take me above the clouds or under the sea, but I don’t care.
I’m in the age of discovery and I’m here to stay.