Doing something right


Throughout my twenties I’ve felt as though I haven’t yet arrived. Arrived, where? I’m not sure. If I find out, I’ll let you know.

It just seems as though there’s expectations for this decade of my life that I can’t quite grasp. I can’t fully comprehend.

There’s the whole first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.

I haven’t arrived at any of those, yet.

Then there’s the whole be your own woman, frost yourself, mentality.

I certainly can’t afford to frost myself. And I don’t think diamonds are my best friend.

That leaves me with me.

Plugging away at life. Trying to figure out the path I’m meant to be on. Stumbling on roots and rocks along the way.

I’m not complaining. Although sometimes it does slip out; little whines and whimpers. I play the blame game and the “why me?” song over and over.

But then. There have been countless moments in this awkward stage of my life where I nail it. Where everything clicks. Not the things ‘normal’ people in their twenties accomplish. Not the things the world wants to sell me.

Things that are important to me.

Moments where I am the cousin I always looked up to as a kid. When my cousins’ kids instant message me, text message me, and run up to me with big hugs.

Times when the kids I used to nanny still remember the silly games we played five years ago.

There have been really special and stressful times with my parents. Rushing them to hospitals and talking about their childhood memories.

The rare times when I can give back to my aunts and uncles to show appreciation for their love and generosity.

The last memories with grandparents, three of whom have passed during my twenties, that I will never forget.

The random cards and e-mails from people whose lives I’ve stepped into, writing to tell me that I made a difference.

And a handful of other times that bring a smile to my face.

Times when I know that no matter what happens or doesn’t happen in my twenties, I did something right.

I haven’t arrived. I’m still on my way. But I’m doing something right.

 

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