Bumping into walls

Someone once told me that I’ll look back on my life and realize that I bumped into a bunch of walls before I ended up ‘here.’

I don’t know what labyrinth I was dropped into, but I am definitely bruised from all the brick and drywall I’ve encountered.

I am the first to admit that I’m not sure where I’m supposed to end up. I’ve never known. Never had that distinct end spot in my sights.

For a while I thought it meant I was clueless. Then I was convinced it meant I was stupid. At some point, I was sure it meant that I would always be lost and wandering.

Once I waded through all those tough thoughts and talked it out, I thought about the idea of surrender.

I’m not defeated in my search to find my life – to find my calling, to settle into my role.

On the contrary, I am in a win-win situation.

Quite often I feel like I won the consolation prize. That’s the world talking. Telling me I’ll never make it after all. Showing me other people’s highlight reels (Thank you Steven Furtick for that thought!).

When I really think about it, I know that if I continue to put my dreams, plans, thoughts, ideas, and wishes aside, they will align with the dreams, plans, thoughts, ideas, and wishes of One who knows how to get me through the labyrinth.

As I turn right and bump into a wall, I stumble back and realize I was the one pushing forward, ignoring the Man on the loudspeaker (think of the insurance commercial “That’s a new maze record!”).

He so longs for me to walk through the dizzying and disorienting maze with Him leading the way; trusting Him the entire time and not panicking at critical times.

One day, I’ll show you all my bumps and bruises. You won’t be able to get me to stop talking about how I trusted instead of feared, listened instead of talked, waited instead of pushed.

Don’t expect a report on this anytime soon. Just like me, you’ll have to be patient and wait to hear my story many years from now.

Because I can guarantee I’ll never stop bumping into walls.




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