Glancing at my summer calendar, and consequently my check registry, one would think I am an extreme extrovert.
Meeting me, one would think I am an extreme extrovert. Knowing me, one knows that I am not an extrovert. Extreme or otherwise.
Well, maybe it’s not that easy to see or understand.
I am not an extrovert. Although, I am a big “quality time” person (Five Love Languages). I am an introvert through and through. Not your typical introvert. An INFJ (Myers Briggs) introvert.
Complicated? Yes. That’s me. A while back I posted about my own self-discovery. I said a bunch of fluffy things about how I will never stop discovering new things about myself.
And I haven’t stopped. With every year that passes, every obstacle faced and challenge conquered, I understand more and more about myself. Who I am. Who I want to be.
Discovering new things about myself is never easy. It seems as though a revelation comes when I’m in the midst of a storm, fighting through the waves, and trying to find the shore.
Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that my life is a huge storm, full of doom and gloom. That’s just my personality talking – looking at things a bit skeptically. It’s what I do; how I approach life.
As I learn more about who I am, I realize that I really just want to be who He wants me to be. Sometimes I fight it. Ignore it. Walk away from it. But then I’m left floundering, flailing about.
Regardless of what I learn in personality tests, books, and internet searches, I learn the most about who I am when I look at who He is. Who He wants me to be.
He wants me to love Him with my whole heart. And love my neighbors.
Those sound so simple. They are simple. But I tend to complicate matters when I let other thoughts flood my mind, busyness take over my time, and personality tests and blogs determine my ‘next steps’ in life. That stuff clouds my vision.
And at the end of the day, I want Him to be my vision. For my life – personality, professional endeavors, pen pals and otherwise. For my everything.
Embracing my introverted ways, all four letters of my personality (INFJ), is my way of accepting how he knit me together and wired me.
And I think I’m finally reaching a point where I’m perfectly content with that.
I’m still learning.