Should is the word of the day. Were I to list all the things I should be doing, I’d end up writing my to do list out. Thrilling blog material.
Instead, I’m pushing past myself, getting out of my own way, to just be here.
Ever since September and my trip to Washington and Oregon, yes one of my should-do’s is a post trip post, I have been trying to practice the first two “R’s.”
Easy peasy lemon squeeze to take naps and kick back while on an action-packed vaca. Without fail, I fell asleep unexpectedly, unplanned every day. While riding in the car. While flying over Idaho. While sitting on a couch. It was wonderful. Though tired from adventures, I always felt rested.
It’s a feeling I’d like to bring back to my non-vaca lifestyle. Something I need to get a grip on before it gets a grip on me.
Guilt-free reading for hours on end, ignoring the world around me was something else I re-discovered while in Washington. Something I had denied for too long; brushed off as frivolous. Something I remembered is necessary to my very existence.
Somehow, in spite of a busy October, the busiest since my mom’s diagnosis, I continued to read. A glutton for punishment, I’ve stayed up past closing time to finish “one more chapter.” I was completely engrossed in Veronica Roth’s dystopian world and the characters she placed there.
Connecting with other Divergent readers – friends, family, and complete strangers – confirms that reading is good for my soul. Waiting for an event, on Thursday night, I ducked into a local ‘Bou. Spending 35 of my own cents, I scrounged together old gift cards to purchase a medium dark hot chocolate, which turned out to be a mistake, and a warmed apple fritter. As college students typed around me, I cozied into a leather chair by the fire, sipped hot coco, plugged my ears with ear buds, and cracked open Allegiant. Around me the sounds of a coffee shop buzzed. I barely noticed; entranced by Tris’ voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a little girl. Probably 5. Her puffy purple jacket and purple spectacles represented everything little girl. She bounced in a leather chair, waiting for her mom. Re-focused on Allegiant, I hardly registered her mom’s presence until she asked me, “How do you like Allegiant so far?” Her question pulled me out of Tris’ world and I told her, “I love it!” I inquired if she had read the books. She nodded her head and said, “yes, I didn’t get Allegiant yet but I’m a school librarian and our copies come tomorrow.” I explained that I appreciate Roth’s use of dual perspective and the way she leaves no gaps in between books. She understood and wished me the best with the rest of the story.
I smiled at her and the bouncy girl by her side as they left to pick up their drinks to go. It was then and there that I remembered how much I love meeting book lovers who know the stories I’ve come to adore and speak my language.
I plan to read into November and throughout the year. And that’s a good thing. Because I need to escape my own thoughts and put myself into new worlds and POV’s.
That’s how I want to spend my time. Not because I’m in constant need of escape. I’m not living a horror story, I just know that my psyche feeds off of thinking outside myself through the voice of characters whom I like to believe truly exist.
The third “R” I neglect more than the others, if that’s even possible, is Risk.
As an introvert, conservative in my thoughts, that is, who I allow to hear them, I struggle with putting myself out there and taking Risks.
Perhaps that’s why I’m shocked that I have been playing more risky business lately.
I’ve been daring myself to leap over the holes that I’ve dug around me. Obstacles I place in front of me that keep me from reaching my goals.
Four times out of five, it freaks me out. The art of humble confidence in new situations is one I hope to achieve some mastery in.
Putting it all on the line is not something I relish in. Does anyone? I just know that now is the time for me to be daring. Often times, risks lead me to people I never knew I’d need in my life; connections to new opportunities and adventures that pull me out of my shell. Most of the time I’m a homebody who loathes doing anything after work – exhausted from a long day and in need of rest for the next long day. But as recent weeks have shown me, pushing past my sleep deprivation is a necessary evil if I want to grow as a person – professionally and personally.
I just have to balance my Risks with Resting and Reading.
I ask. You answer.
- Do you have Three “R’s”?
- How do you balance out adventure with down time?
- What favorite thing do you neglect when you think you have no time? (i.e. I give up reading when I think I’m too busy).
- Have you read Divergent? Insurgent? Allegiant? Thoughts?!