It’s a world of couple-themed holidays and I’m just surviving it.
Most likely the coupley-ness has increased because of social media (now there’s physical, er, digital proof of couples). One can hardly go on any social network without a bazillion couple photos popping up like rising bubbles in a glass of Korbel champagne at a wedding reception.
And now, couples have taken over every holiday. All of the U.S. Holidays are couple friendly.
As our most recent celebration of pumpkins and candy proves, couples are all the rage. Couple costumes are a thing. A big thing.
There’s people who dressed up like famous couples in history-presidents and first lady’s, actors and actresses, athletes and trophy wives, fictional husbands and wives from movies and books, condiments we squirt on hotdogs-ketchup and mustard…the sky’s the limit.
And then it’s Thanksgiving, which undoubtedly gets the short end of the stick when it comes to observance of all things turkey, Pilgrim, and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, vastly overshadowed by the polarizing Black Friday sales or no sales war, but couples still exist. In the “our first turkey as a married couple” Insta captions, and “we were with his/her family in Nebraska for Thanksgiving this year. It’s our year with my side for Christmas” conversations you didn’t realize you wanted to have.
Which leads us to Christmas, (if Hallmark movies are any indicator of the couple factor being a real thing, I don’t know what is!) the holiday of snuggling up with your guy/gal over popcorn and a Christmas movie, shopping for the “perfect gift for him/her,” and doing every Christmasy couple event known to man.
After Christmas, you’d think it gets better and then – Wham! Bam! – Happy New Year. The holiday that is supposed to signal an end to one year and a beginning to the next is all about couples kissing at midnight, resolutions about “spending more times together as a couple,” and yep. That’s pretty much it.
January and February are relatively safe, Martin Luther King Jr. and George Washington didn’t make it too hard on us single folk. Probably because St. Patrick’s Day in March is all about kissing gingers. But wait. How could I skip the 14th of February — Singles Awareness Day. That one St. Valentine and his sidekick Cupid had to go and ruin a perfectly good box of chocolates with couple messages, reminding all non-couples that you can still find boxes of chocolates at 50% off at Walgreen’s days after the big day. It’s gotta be at the top of the top 3 most obnoxious holidays, in a league with National Bunsen Burner Day and National Make Your Bed Day (those are real. Google said so). The worst. Nothing like wrecking flowers and candy (although, let’s be honest, candy is never wrecked). You can thank your dentist on National Dentist Day for the cavities acquired while binge-eating dark chocolate in front of the TV.
And then, after recovering from hearts and sappy cards, it’s Memorial Day and Independence Day which celebrate lake time with your favorite someone special and backyard BBQ’s with couple friends and their kids.
Before ya know it, Labor Day is here with its Tim McGraw reminders of high school sweethearts and re-kindling old flames. Or for us singles, trying not to torch the place with that frozen pizza for one (actually, the serving size feeds 8, but no one will know if you wolf it down alone…).
Columbus Day and Veteran’s Day are the most couple-free of all the U.S. Holidays, but I’m sure some ultra cozy couple out there does something extremely coupley on those holidays.
And then it’s back to Halloween and its couple costumes.
That’s a long year of celebrating couples.
So, Happy Holidays to all the non-couples out there.